Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It? by Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness

Rating: 5 out of 5.
Book Genre "Memoir" with person writing with pen
Book Cover of "Everybody Fights" with
Book Genre Block "Inspiring" with letter tiles spelling "Do Not Give Up"

This book has changed my marriage. For Real! I will literally be re-reading this book for a long time. Each chapter speaks to a different part of your relationship, and it was just amazing!

If you are not in a relationship, I STILL think you should read this book. There’s a chapter on intimate connection, but other than that, I really think this book teaches us how to listen to and interact with humans in general. Not just the one you’re married to. I’m using things I’ve learned in this book to better communicate with my kids too!

Audio book on phone

I listened to the audio of this book, and I highly, HIGHLY recommend doing the same. Kim and Penn are absolutely amazing narrators of their book. It felt like they were just talking to me. I loved hearing the emotion in their voices during tough conversations and their laughs at fun memories. It was wonderful!

Overall, read this book, listen to this book, just get your hands on this! It’s completely worth it!

Where to Find This Book:

Thomas Nelson | Amazon | Barnes & Noble
Libro.FM – Get your first month free here!

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My wife drives me crazy sometimes. My husband should already know what I need. Is our marriage in trouble if we fight all the time? Is it possible to learn how to fight?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness have done the hard maintenance and the research. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to

  • conjure the magic of metacommunication
  • break free of secret contracts
  • banish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delay
  • carry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs

Penn and Kim metacommunication want people to know they’re not alone. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.

Just the Facts:

Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It? by Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness
Genre: Self-Help
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Pub Date: March 30, 2021

Banner with open book titled "About the Author"
image of female Author Kim H.

Kim Holderness was born and raised in Sarasota, Florida, and was a competitive dancer (once crowned Miss Dance Florida).  She went to the University of Florida, then began her career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral, and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are bipartisan.)  The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.

Penn Holderness was born in Durham, North Carolina, to a Presbyterian minister and a public school teacher. He was super into Boy Scouts, show choir, and synthesizers as a kid, so he wasn’t exactly a ladies’ man. He went to the University of Virginia, then started a two-decade career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are bipartisan.) The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.


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If you are enjoying this book tour, head to TLC Book Tours to see what other bloggers are saying! Thank you to TLC Book Tours for having me be a part of this!

I was provided a gifted copy of this book for free. I am leaving my review voluntarily.

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3 thoughts on “Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It? by Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness

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